Crouching Tiger, Hidden Ed
by Mike Coppola
Summary: When Edd's neighbors move out, a new kid is expected to move in, but the kids of the culdesac are in for a big surprise.
1. Moving Out

This Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy story will be in script form, yeah I know it may get annoying, but I'm really good with script form, so just read this story in script form and don't whine about it!

(Every house on the cul-de-sac has one of the group living in it, except for one, Edd's mysterious neighbors, who's moving out. Ed, Edd, and Eddy notice a moving van next to Edd's house.)

Eddy: Woah, what's that moving van doing by your house?

Ed: You're moving Double D?

Edd: I don't know. I wasn't notified about me moving! Oh dear! I have to see what's going on!

(Edd starts to run near his home, Ed and Eddy run after him.)

Eddy: Wait up Double D!

(Kevin, Sarah, Jimmy, Jonny, and Plank notice it too.)

Kevin: Cool, dork's moving away!

Sarah: Double D's moving away?

Jonny: Wow, has it been so soon?

(He leans over to plank.)

Jonny: Plank! That's not very nice!

Sarah: But...but...he can't leave!

Kevin: Yeah, one less dork to pound!

Jimmy: I didn't think someone would actually leave. Sarah, I'm scared!

Sarah: Hold on Jimmy.

(Nazz comes over next.)

Nazz: Hey guys, what's up?

Kevin: Double D's moving away.

Nazz: Oh no, that's not good, now there'll only be two Eds left.

(Rolf is chasing runaway chickens across the street when he notices it too.)

Rolf: Get back here you stupid feather-freaks! Woah, who's moving away?

Nazz: Edd,

Rolf: Which one?

Everyone else: Double D!

Rolf: Hey, no need to shout. Too bad, he was the only Ed-boy who had brains.

(Meanwhile, the Eds are watching the movers take furniture out of Edd's neighbor's house.)

Eddy: Hey, this isn't your house, it's your neighbor's!

Edd: Oh rapture!

Ed: Capture? I will capture the overlord chickens Double D!

(Ed begins to run towards the movers, imagining them in chicken outfits.)

Edd: Ed, no!

Ed: Ah ha ha ha, CHICKENS!

Edd: We have to stop them!

Eddy: No way! This is too priceless!

(The others notice Ed running at them too.)

Kevin: Run dork run! Ha ha ha ha!

Sarah: Ed! I'm gonna tell mom on you!

(Ed hears this and turns away while running, which means he's now running backwards.)

Ed: Sarah! No!

(Ed, who's still running backwards, trips on a rock only mere feet away from the movers and the furniture. He flies up into the air and lands in a nearby garbage can full of feathers.)

Ed: (while flapping his arms) I am a flying chicken! Moooo! Moooo!

Edd: Actually Ed, cows moooo, and chickens cluck.

Ed: (still flapping his arms) I am a graceful chicken! Bow down to my mooooooooooo-eyness!

(Edd rolls his eyes and Eddy finally gets over there.)

Eddy: That was awesome Ed! I could sell you as the eighth wonder of the world! All view the first ever amazing Chicken Boy!

Ed: Yay! I am a graceful chicken! Mooooooooo!

Edd: No Ed! Never mind, why do I even bother?

(The rest of them leave after hearing that Edd's not moving.)

Edd: You know, I wonder, who will be my new neighbor?

Eddy: Who cares! As long as they stay out of my way, I'm fine with it!

Ed: But what happens if he's a zombie monster, disguised as a human chicken!

Edd and Eddy: Ed, enough with the chickens already!

(They see that the moving vans are leaving.)

Eddy: There they go!

Edd: I hope the new kid is nice.

Eddy: Who said anything about a new kid, Double D? It may be just another stupid adult!

Edd: Yeah, I guess, but it's not impossible that it'll be a new kid, Eddy.

Eddy: Yeah whatever!


	2. The New Kid Arrives

(The day continued on from there, and it was extremely boring. Eventually they saw a car pull into Edd's old neighbor's house. Everyone looked in wonder to see Edd's new neighbor.)

Nazz: Hey guys, here they are!

Jonny: Oh boy Plank, this is really exciting isn't it?

Kevin: Maybe it's another dork!

Sarah: Maybe it's not!

Eddy: Shut up everyone!

Edd: They're here.

(The car door opens, a mom leaves it and unlocks the door and goes inside. Her son, around the cul-de-sac kids' age, gets out of the car. He's bald except for a few small stringy hairs, and he covers it by putting on a beanie with a large X on it. It's black, like the rest of his clothes. Black jeans, black shoes, a black skull shirt, except the skull is white, and black sunglasses.)

(Ed looks at him not knowing what's going on, Edd looks afraid of him, Eddy looks amazed, Nazz looks like she's in love, Jonny looks intrigued, Plank looks normal, Kevin looks unimpressed, Jimmy looks terrified, Sarah looks cruelly, and Rolf looks disappointingly.)

Kevin: He's weird!

Nazz: (in a dreamy voice) Yeah!

Rolf: Maybe he's lacking of head brains!

Ed: Maybe he's a pound of gravy!

Eddy: Maybe you need to shut up Ed!

Jimmy: He looks like he's gonna eat us!

Sarah: He can't eat us Jimmy!

Edd: Well who's gonna talk to him.

(Everyone takes a step back from Edd except Ed, but Eddy drags him back too. Edd gulps.)

Edd: Traitors! I guess I'll...(gulp)..I'll...I'll have to do this myself!

(Edd walks over to the new kid in a slow terrified matter. When he finally reaches there, mumbling to himself, a shakily waves.)

Edd: H...H...H...hi?

(The new kid takes off his sunglasses and puts them in his pocket.)

New kid: Hey.

Edd: Oh good, a response to me, despite my nervousness?

New kid: Yeah. Sup?

Edd: Actually it's "what's up?".

(The new kid looks at him furiously for a second, and then cools down and smiles for a brief moment, only to return to his expressionless stare.)

New kid: The name's Damien.

Edd: Oh! That's so rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Edd. But everyone calls me Double D.

Damien: Double D...cool.

Edd: Oh good!

(He walks back to the group.)

Sarah: So what did he say?

Kevin: Is he a dork?

Rolf: Is he human?

Eddy: Tell us Double D!

Nazz: Yeah...tell them, I mean us!

Edd: Well his name is Damien.

Kevin: Damien...what kind of a name is that?

Ed: It's a cow's name! Cluck!

Eddy: Can it Ed! He's not finished yet! Did you tell you anything else?

Edd: No, except for Hey, Yeah, Sup, and Double D...cool, he didn't say too much.

Jonny: That's mysterious, ain't it Plank?

Rolf: Too mysterious.

Kevin: Well at least he's not a dork.

(The whole group walks over to Damien and introduces themselves.)

Kevin: I'm Kevin.

Sarah: Sarah.

Jimmy: I'm Jimmy, pleasure to mee-

Rolf: (pushes Jimmy out of the way) I'm Rolf, and you must be the mysterious dark-clotted boy of mystery meat!

Jonny: I'm Jonny, and this is Plank!

Damien: Plank...sup?

Jonny: Did you hear that Jonny, he said 'sup?'!

Nazz: Um...I'm...N-N-N-Nazz.

Damien: Nazz...cool.

Nazz: Heheh, you're really cute.

(Ed, Edd, Eddy, Kevin, and Jonny looks at Damien with anger in their eyes, Damien smiles at Nazz and Eddy pushes her out of the way, lowering his smile to his expressionless face again.)

Eddy: I'm Eddy!

Ed: And I'm Ed! You looks like a hungry chicken!

(Eddy slaps Ed and he falls over. Edd helps him up and the gang goes back to their original spots, talking about Damien to themselves.)

Kevin: I can't believe him!

Eddy: Yeah I know!

Sarah: Who does he think he is anyways?

Jimmy: Yeah! Fight the power!

Eddy: We must stop him!

Jonny: Yeah, before it's too late! (he leans over to Plank) What's that Plank? You have a plan? Hey everyone! Plank has a plan!

Sarah: Well spill it already!

Eddy: Yeah!

Jonny: Okay Plank, what's the plan?


End file.
